Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
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