Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
it was like eating out sand paper
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
cat food counts as protein by the way
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
