I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish I only lived at night.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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