he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We're too hungover to prance.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
