come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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