i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
