would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
