Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
