The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
