Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
