Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
