My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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