i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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