Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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