Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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