Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
