Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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