oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
