Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
