I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
