I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
