I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I touched a dick in church today
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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