yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
