FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
