You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
