we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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