Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
