it was like eating out sand paper
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
