saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
