I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
