Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
