I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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