Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
