AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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