That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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