highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
