2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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