theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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