Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
