I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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