Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
