He kissed a someone with a penis
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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