you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
