If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Oh god it's open bar.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
