Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I had to cum in my sink.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
