I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
