there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
