My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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