Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
