Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
