Don't EVER smell your tampon
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
