My brain says no but my pants say off.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
