I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
