I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
